Purrsuasion

Mwow, my kitty friends!  Let’s chat ’bout gaining control of de computer.  It can be hard to commandeer de staff’s computer so you can blog or Facebook or check your email or website.  For some reason, dey be tinkin’ dey have dibs.  Whatever. 

My good friend Anne, in Scotland posted dis video de udder day.  It be Simon’s Cat(!) demonstrating exactly what I wants to share wit you.

Heh, heh, heh….dat Simon’s Cat!  He be so funny!  Anyways, Let’s be talkin’ ’bout tings dat staff be callin’ “irritating tactics” and what I be calls Purrsuasion.

• Mwowing:  Dis be de easiest.  Go into a room where staff and computer aren’t and mwow.  A lot.  Use different pitches and volume.  Staff will yell your name and ask you to be quiet or come into de room where dey are–don’t do it.  Dey will eventually get up to see what be buggin’ you and dat’s where you dash in and switch users on de computer. 
• Walking on staff:  Hop up on de chair or couch or whatever staff be sittin’ on and walk back and fort and back and fort over dey lap.  Be sure to let your tail brush across dere face.  Sometimes stop and lay on dey hands to make de typing difficult.  Staff will give up and set de computer aside to snuggle wit you.  Dat’s when you hop down and go fur de computer.
• Chewing:  Chew on de side of de computer.  Chew on anyting stickin’ out of de USB port.  Pretend to chew on de cord–don’t actually chew on de cord my kitty friends, dat be dangerous!  Again, staff may give up becuz you be so pestery and set de computer aside.
• Loud disturbance:  Go to a different room from staff and knock someting over.  Staff will yell and come to investigate.  Opening cupboard doors works, too.  Especially if you open dem just a bit and let dem slam closed repeatedly.
• Visual distraction:  Hop up on some place where staff sez you’re not supposed to be in a place where staff can see you.  Dey will yell at you to get down–don’t.  Make dem set de computer aside and come “scare” you off dat place.

You can be see dat dese purrsuasions work, cuz I be a-bloggin’!  Heh heh heh!  What  techniques do you be usin’ to get your way, my kitty friends?   Mwow!

 

 

 

New and Improved!

Hey, my kitty friends!  I be updated my blog wit a new look!  I picked de grey color to match my handsome self.  What do you be tink?!

I hasn’t blogged in a very, very long time, and it be my goal to be not let dat happen any mores.  I’s had a pretty good summer so far, wit de catchin’ of de mousies, de stalkin’ of de birdies, and de taunting and manipulatin’ of de staff.  I has a new lair up in de high reaches of de house:

Dis be in a corner over-looking de big drop-off behind a speaker tingie.  I be hidden, but in a purrfect place to spy on de staff.  I can hear what be happenin’ downstairs–like when my chow bowl be gettin’ filled, and I can be keepin’ an eye on dem if dey be up here too.  In de mornings, dere be a sunbeam right here.  I be tryin’ to lay down a nice layer of my furs to be makin’ dis place even more comfy, but de staff keeps takin’ it.  Whatever.  (Notice de hairs I placed on de speaker tingie just dis morning…heh heh heh!)  I am Pook.  I sleeps where I wants and puts my furs dere to claim my territory.  Yup.

I hopes you be havin’ a good ole summer too.  Later, my kitty friends!  Mwow!

De Feline Art of Supervision

Mwow my kitty friends!  Dere are may ways a kitty controls and manipulates dere staff in de efficient operation of de household.  One of de most importantest be supervising de things you take interests in.  I be very interested in anything dat involves water, so I’s using dis as today’s example.

Yesterday, staff went to de cupboard and got out de green pitcher to water de plants.  Plants be very needy and must be watered just so or dey will die; AND water should not be wasted, especially when it could be shared wit de kitty in de house.  SO…in order to make sure de plants get what dey need and I gets what I wants, I make it my habit to follow staffs around when dey be watering.  I make sure I sees how water is placed in de pitcher and exactly where it goes in de plant’s pot.  I put my face as close to de water as I can.  NOTE:  Dis involves some risk of getting water poured on you, but it must be done!  I also be sure dat staff is properly intimidated into doing dere job correctly by always keeping a superior scowl on my face….like dis:

Notice de icy stare, de look dat implies ‘you best be doin dis right or dere will be consequences.’  Use dis pic to practice dis look on your own, my kitty friends.  Practice dis until you can do dis without thinking.  You’ll be glad to be havin’ dis skill to keep your staff running your household efficiently.

I hope dis post has been helpful to you, my kitty friends.  Please share other techniques you finds helpful in gettin your way….I mean techniques you be usin to supervise de efficient operation of your household.  Yup, dat’s it.  Mwow til later!

The fog comes on little cat feet…

Mwow my kitty friends!  I hasn’t blogged in a whiles.  It not be my faults, though.  Staff left me here for days with only temporary staffs to check on me and sees to my needs (which are many!).  I should have had tons of times to be bloggin’. 

But no. 

Staff left her computer lid closed.  While fog can come on cat’s feet, cat’s feet cannots open de lid of a closed laptops.  I be tried everythings to be openin’ it….I be chewed on its, I be mwowed menacingly at its, I be puffed up and be lookin’ threatenin’, I dropped my toys on its, I be even took a naps on it.  None of these things will open a closed laptops.  Who knew? 

I’s had more den a few naps and–look there’s a birdie!

What was I sayin’?  Oh, yup…I’s been distracted since de time dey left and de time dey gots backs, so now I don’t even knows WHAT I wanted to blogs about.  Mwowhatever. 

Sometimes random thoughts is better.  Here.  I be sharin’ de rest of de poem abouts de cat’s feet.  Dat Carl Sandburg…he must have been a great staff for some lucky kitty friend to be writin’ so nice about de cat feet.

Fog  by Carl Sandburg

The fog comes

on little cat feet.

It sits looking

over harbor and city

on silent haunches

and then moves on.

There.  See hows de kitty is like de fog?  Kitties be de perfect subject for all kinds of great literatures.  I be sharin’ more of de great literary works about cat-hood in future posts.  Mwow til thens, my kitty friends!

Helplessly Hoping

Mwow, my fellow thirsty kitty friends.  Dis be a picture of me taken by Staff who obviously has no empathy what-so-ever.  I be patiently waitin’ by de sinks for a drinks.  Staff KNOWS I’s preferin’ to drinks there, rather than go all the way out to de kitchen to my water bowl.  I’s be feelin’ a bit put out by dis, and as I do sometimes, I be borrowin’ some music and alterin’ de lyrics to suit de moment:

Helplessly hoping,

His staff hovers nearby.

Awaiting a word,

Gasping at glimpses

of generous true spirit

He leaps, wishing he could

wit his paws, turn de faucet on hisself.

Wordlessly watching

He waits by de sink

and wonders

at de empty space inside

Heartlessly helping hisself to a snarky look

He scowls

Are staff comin’ to helps or not?

He is one kitty

He is too thirsty

He is three minutes waiting

Staff is for de turning on of de faucet!

OK….so it don’t exactly match CSN&Y’s lyrics, but you gets de picture.  (Apologies to CSN&Y–find de true lyrics and a Youtube video of Helplessly Hoping HERE)

So, my fellow kitty friends, if you be have a better technique to gets your ways wit drinkin’ from where YOU wants too, lets me know.  Mwow for now.

Pesky Pookie (heh heh heh!)

Mwow my Kitty Friends!  I be writin’ today from a very satisfied place. I totally messed wit staff today!  While under de guise of sweet, pathetic, you-left-me-downstairs-all-alone-ness, I mwowed pathetically from beneaths the balcony at staff on de computers upstairs.  I was invited ups of course, and I was ever so “thankful” and rubbed on staff’s legs for a bit…..but den!  I hops up on de chairs behinds her and snagged de jeans label off de back of her jeans and ran offs wit it!  Heh heh heh!  She comes runnin’ afters me and takes it away from me–but no matter, I has other plans.  She goes back to her bloggin’ or whatever and I goes and hides under other staff’s desk an’ starts to noisily chews on stuffs…heh heh heh….she has to gets up to sees what I’s doin’ and so I’s come out from de desks and I’s like, “What?  I’s not doin’ anything…”  Heh heh heh!  I keeps up dis kinds of pestering until she chases me downstairs…..at least that’s what she thinks she did.  I was just ready for some nappin’ and prefer to nap on de bed, so I left.  Pestering staffs is an art, but it makes me sleepy.  How do you pester your staffs, my Kitty Friends?  Let me know–I’ll haves a looks at de comments after I naps for a bit.  Mw–y-a-w-n–ow…..

Mysteries…..hmmmmmwow?

Hmmmmmwow, my Kitty Friends.  Lately I’s been a-ponderin’ some perplexin’ situations.  No matter how longs I ponder, I’s can’t seem to come to the sense of these things:

• Why does staff not want me to drink from de sinks when theys washin’ up?
• Why does no water come outs of de faucets when I licks dem at night?
• Why does staff keep movin’ my water dish back to de wall after I’s positioned it where I likes it–in the middle of de hallway?
• Why are de birdies outsides where I can’t get dem?
• Why do we has to has glass in de windows?
• Why does staff get perturbed when she’s fillin’ my chow bowl (just cuz I likes to eats at de same times)?
• Why does toys end up backs in de basket after I’s placed dem all over do house in convenient places?
• Why does de birdies taunt me so?
• Why does staff not likes it whens I runs betweens their feets when they’s tryin’ to gets somewhere?

Ah my Kitty Friends, I just can’t figures these things outs.   Hmmmmwow.  Do you thinks it be because I falls asleeps when I’s a-pondering?  If yous knows de answers to any of these things, please comment backs.  I’m feelins likes a naps right nows……mwow til later!

Sustaina-kitteh-bility

Mwow all you socially responsible kitty friends!  I’s been playin’ wit the cap off of a water bottle lately.  It be roll-y and it be slidin’ all over, and it be havin’ a scooped out place I’s can be pickin’ up in my teeth or wit my claws, it be makin’ a cool noise if I drops it offs the bed….it be pretty fun!  So I gots to thinkin’ abouts all my toys, and some of my bestest ones are bottle caps, rubber bands and pieces of string.  Don’t get me wrongs–I has a serious appreciations for dem Kitty Hoots toys wit de catnips in ‘ems, but I’s a socially responsible kitty and wanted yous to know dat you don’t needs store-bought toys to be havin’ funs–sometimes de mostest funs are had wit things you just finds arounds the house.  It be good to re-purr-pose some things, y’know my kitty friends?  It be good for the kitty and it be good for the earth.  (Just be sures Staffs knows to still gets you a new catnip-y toys sometimes.)  Mwow.

A New Kitty Friend

Mwow my Kitty Friends!  I’s was playin arounds on the couch last nights and staff was on Facebooks.  She has made friends with a kitty in Singapore named SatsugaiCat.  At firsts I was a bit jealous, y’know?  But thens, I was reading what this SatsugaiCat writes, and she is one wise kitty.  I’s thinkin’ if I’s ever in Singapore I would be visiting this kitty for sures!  Until thens, I’ll be following SatsugaiCat as her fan.  Maybes she’ll be my friend, too!  (Or as she says, “fwen”)  Here, Kitty Friends–be SatsugaiCat’s fan  and while you’re at it, be my Facebook friend, too!   Mwow til later!  Sees you on the interwebs!

Cat Royale

Mwow all my kitty friends and loyal subjects of the realm.  I’s blogging today from the highest vantage point to date…the new second-story tower of my castle.  Staff and they friends has been working on this project for some time now, and I must say, it pleases the King!  Grey-haired staff has been so kind as to produce a throne befitting my royal status.  Oh, he claims it is his, passed on to him by his father (whatever); but as you view the photo below I’s thinkin’ you’ll be agreein’ with me–it is MINE!  I sleeps here, I ponders here, I naps here, I rule from here.  Do you has your own throne, my kitty friends?  If not, it is high time to claim what is rightfully yours.   So sayeth the king of the realm…..Mwow for now!  (you may imagine me waving a kingly wave, the bottom of my paw facing me)